Nov. 16-17, 2008 – Panchakarma – Day 24-25 – Deep Cleansing and Deep Issues and some Pics
Where to begin. With the easy stuff for a change. The weather is still lovely. From 7 PM until 10AM it is cold and windy – chilly more like it – I need my warm clothing but not extra layers and no coat yet – but the rest of the day is glorious. I was wrong about the rain – the haze has lifted and the sunshine is brilliant. Sat out for about ½ hour sun-bathing today. Like the winter sun in Israel. Hot but not oppressive with a cool breeze every now and then. Might even get some color in my face!
And speaking of my face…a girl here works in photography and asked to photograph me on the roof, so below you will see some pics of me taken last week.
Yesterday I was really cold during my massage…for the first time. But yesterday morning my ghee was also solid instead of liquid when I took it down to breakfast in the morning. I think there must be at least a 10-15 degree difference between day high and night low. I needed two warm blankets as well as a heater during the massage and still, the body part exposed was really cold. So today I had my massage in the Solarium. It is a room which once was a terrace, now all enclosed in large glass windows, and facing the morning sun. I laid on the table and felt as if I was on a beach, perhaps in Goa which I will never get to I think, with the sun beating down on me. It was wonderful. I was really hot. I feel bad for the massage therapist in that room! In addition, Manju, the doc’s wife and herself a doctor, gave me my full massage today, so all in all, I was in heaven. Only 3 days left! Today was my last enema, and I complained that I won’t be getting any more parantha, and would be willing to have an enema just to get the parantha again. Doc said he would bring me a parantha every day anyway! Said I need to eat lots of oily food and the other women there were quite jealous and asked why just me. He said “look at her – she is so skinny…she must everything to make her gain weight!” He will be telling me what he wants me to eat for the next few weeks to do just that. The amazing thing about the panchakarma this time is, that contrary to the other two times when I lost a lot of weight, I only lost ½ kg this time and he said that was his objective. It is forbidden for me to loose weight. I am much too thin and frail (his words) and at my age should weigh at least 56 kg. I weighed that last year before I began my panchakarma in Israel, but never gain the weight back. I thought I was a little round around the middle, but my face looked really good then. That is his objective for me, and I’ll be happy to oblige if I can. Might even get some boobs back!
And speaking of food, mine hasn’t been worth mentioning this past month, except for one thing, and I am including a picture. My daily fruit salad. It is one of my great pleasures here, as at home I could never prepare myself a fruit salad like this every day, with such a variety of fruit. Right now, it includes apples, bananas, papaya, pineapple, chico (a fruit very similar in taste to custard apples – arnona – but looks like a small round dirty potato from the outside), pomegranate, orange and grapes. Later on it will also include mango and strawberries!
As I mentioned in my last post, I had begun feeling down a couple of days ago, my body filled with a heaviness, a weight, which needed to be released. And not sleeping most of that night, tossing and turning – watching movies, reading and drifting into a restless sleep for an hour or so towards morning. Still feeling so heavy I
did not want to leave the bed to go to the clinic. I forced myself up and got dressed, had breakfast and even managed to smile at people I met. But all with and empty feeling – As I headed down to the clinic, it all came to me in a flash and the floodgates opened. Tears started falling and fell all the way to the clinic drawing curious stares along the way. Dr. Arora and began I finally found my way to sobbing out my pain. The issue is not for public discussion, but one which was revealed to me after more than 20 years of being completely unaware of these feelings and issues. When I spoke to the doctor about my distress he was amazingly gentle and loving – holding my hand as you would a child, telling me, as I knew myself, how healthy this was and how I should thank god – which I already had. He said that is how panchakarma works: “Small action – big reaction – and then it is gone…it comes quickly and leaves quickly and there is no longer any reason to be stressed or think about the issue ever again. “ This is very similar to the way Reiki works! (Reiki was first written about 2500 years ago in Sanskrit – so. comes from the same source of knowledge). A person will very often have outbursts of emotion during a treatment – laughing, crying etc. but never knows what issues surfaced. I explain to them that they do not HAVE to know what was released…just be happy that it is gone. We don’t re-examine our garbage in the garbage bin before dumping it. We don’t open the bag and smell and feel and search through it…we simply throw it out!. Same with past issues – they just need to be released – we don’t necessarily have to become obsessed with understanding them in order to be rid of them. So, the issues which came up for me, quite distressing, are now simply gone and done with!!
I then told him, that just to make things completely “perfect” that day, my phone stopped working again! And then he burst out laughing! He said this was God’s final test of the success of the panchakarma. This could have been something which would have broken me..like the last straw.. (at one point I felt like smashing the phone – all this happened BEFORE I knew the source of my sadness), but I didn’t. He said panchakarma should make you flexible on all levels. Not just the physical. Like bamboo. You can bend it completely but it won’t break. And so this was a test from God to check if He could hit me with everything – the big guns – and I would still spring back, without breaking. Which I have. After an especially loving and deep massage ordered by the doctor – I left the clinic smiling, light, happy and joyful after being relieved of a final burden which I had carried inside like a cancer for so many years – without even knowing it!
And I have been completely serene and happy since! Today was my last oil enema as I mentioned, and the next three days will be easy and pleasant, and then life gets back to normal! Kind of sad actually.
And that’s about it for the last couple of days.