October 27, 2009 – Messages, Messages, Messages and Understanding
This is one of those post you may choose to read or not, as it is about personal insights and understandings, which happen to reveal themselves while I am in India, and hterfore find their way to the India Journal.
Over the past several days, I have had several messages, which only this morning,while sitting here along the Ganga, have come to full understanding and made their impact on me.
The first one was 2 days ago, while doing my morning meditation. At one point, I heard a bird chirping animatedly from very nearby. I had to open my eyes to see where this intense chirping was coming from. Well, not for the first time in India, a sparrow was in my room (for those of you who have been following my journey for years, know that this has happened to me twice before while in Mcleodganj). I have a kind of window opening above the door to my room which I keep open all the time to allow some fresh air in even if the windows are closed, and perched on this opening, just above my head, was a sparrow, and as I looked at him, he “spoke” to me very clearly, left his message, and then said goodbye and flew away.
“Don’t forget about me” was what he said…A sparrow, in Hebrew, is called tzipor dror meaning “bird of freedom” and these have always been sent to me to remind me not to forget about ME. He was once again sent to remind me not to give up my freedom and to always choose to do that which is best for me and not allow anyone to take this away from me – even unintentionally – because of their need, their charm, their helplessness, or my own feeling uncomfortable in certain situations, etc. This truly hit home at the moment and I knew exactly what it meant in regards to my own life at the moment, but in the events of the day, was lost to me on any conscious level.
That same evening, I had my “date” and my dinner out, and yesterday I was given a not so subtle hint to take better care of my own needs more conscientiously. The dinner which was served was quite spicey, and I knew it was not good for me but since I did not want to offend the lady who had so graciously prepared it “not spicey” for my benefit, I ate it.
Yesterday, I had a very powerful reaction which left me weak and forcing me to rest all day – but also giving me the time to think and understand further. I was fine by last nite-as if nothing hadhappened, but it was a lesson learned the hard way. It would have been easier to listen to the gentler bird message from the day before.
When I woke up this morning, I had a powerful urge to leave my room early and do my meditation down here with the sound of the rapids as background. And while meditating, before ordering my breakfast, another powerful message came through – as if the rapids were speaking to me: “These are very precious moments for you – do not let anyone take them away from you” This makes so much sense together with the bird’s message and yesterday’s message, that I had to sit up and truly take notice. And overwhelmed with emotion from the constant love showered upon me by God and his loving Universe, I found myself silently cry9ing tears of joy and gratitude.
Since I arrived two weeks ago, I have been cutting shot my morning practice to accommodate people who asked to come in the morning for treatments, or returning home from a peaceful tranquil place to be back in time for someone I had agreed to meet at a certain time. Or even ending a quiet session of listening to music and relaxing because a friend came around to visit. I realize now that my time here is too valuable – I am here, of course, to be of service to others, but top priority for healing and compassion and caring for MUST BE ME. I had begun falling into the trap of putting my own needs lower down on the priority list , after th needs of others. I must be careful, always, of this.
I have already begun putting this into practice this morning when I left my room early, and the Ganga message was just a confirmation that I had indeed done the right thing. I was supposed to meet someone this morning in my room, but after this need to get out early, I simply left a note of apology with the option of looking for me later this afternoon-and felt completely at peace with this decision to “disappoint” another person.
And then hearing the words “these are very precious moments for you” when I got down here, simply confirmed that I have learned my lesson, once again, and hopefully, I will remember the importance of taking care of myself as the weeks go by.