Tragedy no Longer

The last picture of Ben, taken just 2 weeks ago:

Sorry for the post yesterday…I was so shocked I didn’t realize what I was doing. After sitting with another good friend until late last night, and speaking about Ben with each other for hours, we both understood that although WE are terribly sad and still find it hard to believe that we will no longer see Ben or hear his laughter or silly jokes, Ben is probably very happy and even pleased with himself! First of all, his wife, Mary Cruz was killed just 2 years ago in Mexico in the same way. Instead of a motorbike, she was riding a bicycle, but was also hit by a truck and killed. He missed her terribly and spoke to me about her often and his great love for her, and so now I know they are together and that is lovely.
In addition, for the past 1 1/2 years he has been speaking about his fear of biking in India. He has biked for years all over the world but could not get over his fear of getting on a bike in India. If you remember, we were supposed to take a bike ride to MUssoorie but it did not work out in the end. Well, just yesterday morning, I saw him sitting at a nearby guesthouse and went over to say good morning on my way down to panchakarma. I hadn’t seen him in several days, and he had just celebrated his 44th birthday two days before. Well, he wasw all excited, like a little kid, and extremely proud of himself when he told me he had finally rented a bike and made the trip up and back to mussoorie. He was so excited that he had finally overcome this fear and couldn’t stop smiling. He showed me the bike and said he could now think of returning it as he had done what he needed to do.
And then he went into rishikesh, with another guy on the back, and was hit by a truck. The other guy just has a nasty cut on his leg!
It was a difficult afternoon, but I am doing well now, and there are so many people who know Ben here, that it is just nice to be able reminisce and everyone only remembers wonderful things about him (even though he could be a real pain in the ass sometimes). On his birthday, he went downtown and distributed school supplies to needy children. Even got written up in the paper with his picture which I’m sure made him also very happy.
He lived his life fully, with very few regrets and did just about everything he felt he wanted to do…so he was blessed
I’ll miss him but I’m happy for him
And this is of course, an extremely powerful lesson in why each and every day is so important…why we must live each day to the fullest, not go to sleep at night without expressing our gratitude for all the blessings of the day, making sure to say all it is we need to say to loved ones and friends…not to go to sleep regretting not having done something that day…and of course to give thanks as well when we wake up again to another wonderful new day.


4 Responses to Tragedy no Longer

  1. Pino says:

    Hello jane i am pino living in rishikesh town n dear ur so thanx for ur lovely msg..n he is real funy man in this world coz we spend so maney beutifull moment togetr i am naver forget in my life ya if poss so i want to talk to u about ben n i want do something for him

  2. Simha Erlich says:

    I was shocked to discover today that Ben passed away. He was so fun to be with! I’ve met him at Rishikesh at March 2008, we became friends quickly and since then we have tried (not always successfully to be in touch. He told me then that he plans to go back to England but eventually have found his way back to Rishikesh that he loved. He told me then how he was missing his diseased wife.
    Hope he indeed have finally found his peace of mind.


  3. Jane says:

    Hi Pino
    You can call me on my phone: 09760196924 …would be happy to meet with you. I will be here until February

  4. Jane says:

    Hi Simcha…I think we met in 2008…Ben was dreaming of going back to Nepal where he had been living and studying with a lama…the lama offerred him a piece of land to build a house on with his own hands and be self-sufficient and this was his latest dream. Even promised me a rocking chair on the porch! He was back England but then back to India, spent time again in Rishikesh with me, then went up to Dharamkot for some months before finding his way to Pokara in Nepal.

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