January 15, 2011 – Cleansing Rain and Tears
Raining, hailing, windy, but the electricity is still working so I am quite content. I have plenty of supplies for cooking, my internet connection, and this will be a wonderful day to rest. I am feeling actually HAPPY that it is raining, and this is really something new for me. I am finding it actually beautiful…just sitting at my window looking out on the really heavy rain falling outside…the sounds of the rain and hail on the roof and windows and rofftop…looks like it will be a wonderful day, once again!
Just finished eating a nasty day breakfast including my special “sort of” cheese tomato omelette, a toasted brown roll (ordered from downstairs) with ghee and masala chai (also ordered from downstairs). What could be better.
Something I haven’t written about this trip, but want to mention is the great joy I get from my music here in India.
I have an enormous collection of very varied genres, and right now for example, had the urge for classical music, now playing in my room, full volume on my speakers. This is something I get great pleasure from, but since I don’t live alone, am limited to the amount of time I can listen to music, limited to the type of music I listen to and of course to the volume! It is just another special treat for me here alone in my room in India and one I am most grateful for.
Seems like today will be a day for music, reading, maybe some computer games, meditation, yoga, good food, and later perhaps even a hour of dancing. Last night I watched a movie, so don’t think I will do that again today, but you never know!
Sitting here reading and listening to lovely music when all of a sudden, …
Rain of Tears..
As this is extremely personal, I will not be posting full details either here or on my other blog, but will just write that reading a passage in a book talking about the heroine’s mother dying, and her understanding that “now she is the child and I am the Mother”…precipitated a powerful cleansing and healing in me. I cried tears from the depth of my being…something which I have not done until now, deep, sobbing cries, so loud I’m sure the people in the next room heard me, and at the same time, powerful insights and understandings. These involved anger, guilt and asking for forgiveness mainly. I will not write the details here but my Mother was actually here in the room with me, and I heard her voice speaking to me and giving me the exact words I needed to help me move past the place I was stuck in regarding her passing….
Another great blessing…