The Shift Begins-Three Weeks in Rishikesh – Oct. 31 2012 –

November 1, 2012

 The Shift Begins

Things are starting to shift.  This always happens when I am in India.  The shift is more on an energy level, in perceptions of time, space and self.

Enjoying the blessed energies along the Ganga

These shifts usually take over a month, sometimes longer, before they occur.  But time has a way of utilizing itself to best advantage.  The more time we have, the more time we waste. Time being short this trip, the shift has taken only 3 weeks.

Many things are very subtle. Pretty much unnoticed from the outside at first, but powerfully felt within.  Almost like a volcanic eruption… sudden, surprising  and overwhelming.

One of the physical ways it manifests with me, is that I “find my voice”.

I don’t sing in public out of respect for the sensitivity of others.  🙂  (well, I DO sing but only when lots of others are singing as well as during a “sing-a-long” or group chanting – and I sing softly so no one can actually hear me – except the unlucky person who happens to be sitting next to me)

And very often when I hum along with music in my own house-not even realizing I am doing it, if someone happens to hear me, they always ask me to stop.  I even hum off key!!!

[I always have music playing, in one form or another – depending on my mood and my needs- I must have music in my life- to calm, to excite, to invigorate, to inspire, for romance, for fun, for dancing or just for its beauty.]

So, while here in India, at some point, I “find my voice’, and begin to sing outloud, to chant outloud.  It is a release of secreted inner joy which doesn’t usually express itself, and it is awesome to feel when it occurs… and a huge  and welcome shift for me.

Finding  my “aloneness” again is also a great shift.  Always being surrounded by others-not always physically but mentally and emotionally – can be exhausting and draining , even when they are dear loved ones – of which I am blessed with many- 6 children, their spouses and my 14 grandchildren.  And then of course my dear loving partner and my friends.

The “space” to be completely alone with ME is a rare occurrence – times are few and far between- I make a great effort to at least begin my day with just ME – but very often even this sacred time is snatched from me for various reasons.

This space  for me is a luxurious blessing, and I am at a place where I am now withdrawing from others around me here as well. Going within, alone, as much as possible.

I have slowed down my mornings, leaving later for my treatments, taking this special sacred time to do those things which are most important to my balance and well being – prayer, meditation, yoga, Reiki, sitting in the blessed warmth of the sun, watching the mountain change colors as the morning moves along, sitting quietly along the Ganga eating my breakfast…contemplating or doing nothing…this is a precious time for me.  I always try to bring this home with me, but it is not something which I am able to always do.  And I miss it dearly.

Morning time is sacred space just for me, and I have not been honouring that space.  I tried adapting to the comfort zone of my friend-leaving earlier in the morning for treatments, walking faster than I like to, etc.  And this is another part of the shift.  I will now make my morning fully and solely devoted to my own needs.

My first resolution therefore, has been to at least do what I can from MY end to insure this sacred space.  And that is NOT to touch the computer for any reason, before lunch time-and later if possible.  This began yesterday, here in Rishikesh, and I will do my best to implement it once I get home as well.  It will not be easy, but it is an essential part of keeping the morning space just for ME without the intrusion of others – even others who I invite in via the computer.

My friend also has a certain animosity towards the Ganga – the son of a friend drowned while swimming in the Ganga and she cannot forgive the river for taking him….but this has effected my joy in being near Ma Ganga when we are together.  So I now breakfast alone (she has found a restaurant which  DOESN’T have  a view of the Ganga, not easy to do here in Rishikesh – and I am happy for her),  and the sacred energies once again come through to me as I sit here.

I will now do my Ganga strolls alone as well to completely absorb the healing energies this Holy river so lovingly gives me.

And will enjoy my slower pace of living as well.

Namaste from Rishikesh


Butterflies and Panchakarma Day 5 – October 18 2012

October 18, 2012

Butterflies and Panchakarma Day 5 – October 18 2012

Someone pulled the plug!

Today I feel like I am doing panchakarma….like someone whose batteries have run out or like an appliance whose electric cord has been unplugged

But blessings still come my way, even if it is only during a walk back up the mountain to my room after my treatment and lunch

There are butterflies everywhere

the weather is wonderful

1:30 in the afternoon in Tapovan Rishikesh

nothing can compare with the fruit salad served at the New Bhandari Swiss Cottage containing, papaypa, pineapples, apple, banana, nectarines, pomegranates and watermelon

and the view of the mountains brings joy to my soul each time I sit here on my rooftop looking at it

The treatment today was in place of Vamana (vomiting or purging of the upper body of mucous, phlegm etc).  Since I began my treatments in a very weakened state this year, the doctor felt that Vamana would be too enervating and exhausting for my body.  So a milder, gentler form of treatment was done today, and again tomorrow, bringing about the same results supposedly. I was told it would be a hot chest pack

My chest area was wrapped and bound in several layers of a soft fabric which was dipped first in very hot water.  And then I was covered with a sheet.  After a couple of minutes I felt uncomfortably cold and called the girls…who put more hot water on it but it seemed like a really ridiculous kind of treatment and I was getting annoyed.  Then Devi came in again when I called and covered me with several warm blankets, but very shortly afterwards I became very cold again.  So she came in and sat there just pouring hot water continually over me.  And then it was over.

I went down to talk to the doctor about it but he was busy, so left to go for lunch.  And all of a sudden, while eating, I felt like someone “pulled the plug” on me and finished eating and came straight back to my room where I have been sleeping since

I will have to get a full explanation of this from the doctor.  I don’t know if it is from the treatment, or just the panchakarma in general which is making me feel so exhausted, but when I find out, you will too

I met my dear friend Lalita today and haven’t seen her in a couple of years so very nice seeing her again, and once again, there were also some nice kids at the restaurant who I had an interesting conversation with, both about ayurvedic medicine and Indian food.  Quite nice…too bad I had to leave to get back to my room.

Tonight is an Indian Classical Music concert right here, and hope I will feel up to going.  I love tabla and flute and can listen to it for hours, and there is NOTHING like hearing it live.  It moves me on all levels to unknown realms of joy and tranquility

Namaste from Rishikesh

Jane


March 4, 2011 – Vacation Days 2-3 – Accepting with Joy and Gratitude

March 4, 2011

March 4, 2011 – Vacation Days 2-3 – Accepting with Joy and Gratitude

My First Completely Round Parantha!!

I now sit outdoors on my rooftop, grey dreary chill surrounds me but inside is a feeling of joy and contentment.  I am listening to lovely music, always chosen by my mood and inner need, and I find te chill invigorating and cleansing.

I have promised myself to accept with joy and gratitude whatever these last days hold for me, and that is exactly what I am doing.

I have just finished a breakfast ordered from room service, simply because I felt like it!  I had planned to prepare fried eggs and toast for myself, but began thinking of the cooking, and especially the cleaning up, and went downstairs and ordered a breakfast that someone else would serve me and clean up from afterwards!  What are vacations for anyway?

Yesterday, I was invited out to my friend Seema’s house for breakfast of aloo (potato) parantha (and to my surprise received also methi (fenugreek) parantha.

Aloo Parantha with Curd and Chutney

I arrived in her kitchen to find her happily waiting my arrival,

Seema Welcoming Me into her Kitchen

and just for fun, I asked to roll my own parantha.  And to my great surprise, (I make parantha all the time at home as well), I managed to roll out my first completely round parantha!!! (As seen in the top photo)

Seema says it is her rolling pin that makes the difference,

Seema's rolling pin

I think perhaps it is also the density of the flour which is different –

Stuffing the Parantha Dough

don’t know-but it was nice to know it IS possible to do.  I will go out and buy a similar rolling pin just to check it out when I gethome, and will try using stone ground flour as well (which is what she uses).

At any rate, I had a lovely breakfast, in lovely company and then went  down to Manju for my special gift massage, and was definitely not disappointed.

Came back to my room, and made myself a pleasant lunch of pasta with tomato, onion, garlic fried in ghee.  Yummy!!

And then, found myself needing to sleep.  Found myself waking up a full 2 hours later!  Had a glass of masala chai and really good fresh apple pie, and then did some computer work downloading new dances I hope to be able to learn before returning home. (But then again, this is something that I feel I HAVE to do, not WANT to do, so might just forget about it).

I then packed away a good amount of clothing which I am no longer wearing and which I leave here from year to year.  This is the first thing I have done which emphasizes the reality that I am leaving soon!  But it was also reassuring, knowing that I am leaving my things here means I will be back!

And then decided to watch a movie before going to sleep.  I actually watched “The African Queen” with Humphrey Boghart and Katherine Hepburn, made in 1951!  Although much of it was really “corny”, I enjoyed every minute of the film more than I thought I would.  Times and attitudes have so changed in the past 1/ 2 century – and watching a movie made 50 years ago is a clear indication of where the world has come from, and where it has arrived. Question being, are changes always for the best?

Went to sleep quite late, had vivid dreams which I have been experiencing since beginning panchakarma, and woke refreshed and at peace.

I have been invited for lunch by a lovely young woman, my next door neighbor this month, who I have been talking to since she arrived.  It is really sweet of her and will be a nice diversion on this dreary day.

And that’s about it.

 


January 15, 2011 – Cleansing Rain and Tears

January 15, 2011

January 15, 2011 – Cleansing Rain and Tears

Last Night Before the Rain

Raining, hailing, windy, but the electricity is still working so I am quite content.  I have plenty of supplies for cooking, my internet connection, and this will be a wonderful day to rest.  I am feeling actually HAPPY that it is raining, and this is really something new for me.  I am finding it actually beautiful…just sitting at my window looking out on the really heavy rain falling outside…the sounds of the rain and hail on the roof and windows and rofftop…looks like it will be a wonderful day, once again!

Cleansing Rain

Just finished eating a nasty day breakfast including my special “sort of” cheese tomato omelette, a toasted brown roll (ordered from downstairs) with ghee and masala chai (also ordered from downstairs).  What could be better.

Something I haven’t written about this trip, but want to mention is the great joy I get from my music here in India.

I have an enormous collection of very varied genres, and right now for example, had the urge for classical music, now playing in my room, full volume on my speakers.  This is something I get great pleasure from, but since I don’t live alone, am limited to the amount of time I can listen to music, limited to the type of music I listen to and of course to the volume!  It is just another special treat for me here alone in my room in India and one I am most grateful for.

Seems like today will be a day for music, reading, maybe some computer games, meditation, yoga, good food, and later perhaps even a hour of dancing.  Last night I watched a movie, so don’t think I will do that again today, but you never know!

Sitting here reading and listening to lovely music when all of a sudden, …

Rain of Tears..

As this is extremely personal, I will not be posting full details either here or on my other blog, but will just write that reading a passage in a book talking about the heroine’s mother dying, and her understanding that “now she is the child and I am the Mother”…precipitated a powerful cleansing and healing in me.  I cried tears from the depth of my being…something which I have not done until now, deep, sobbing cries, so loud I’m sure the people in the next room heard me, and at the same time, powerful insights and understandings. These involved anger, guilt and asking for forgiveness mainly. I will not write the details here but my Mother was actually here in the room with me, and I heard her voice speaking to me and giving me the exact words I needed to help me move past the place I was stuck in regarding her passing….

Another great blessing…

Namaste

Jane


December 24, 2009 – The Power of Music

December 26, 2009

December 24, 2009 – The Power of Music

Yesterday I came back from my water enema looking forward to cooking vegetable soup for myself and just relaxing in the sun on the rooftop. Something inside told me to take my Ipod out with me (something I NEVER do), and then I was somehow guided to two playlists which I haven’t listened to in a very long time…completely different from each other. The first, Shlomi Shabat, and Israeli singer who’s main generes are Israeli Mizrachi music and Latin-American rhythms which he very often sings in Spanish as well, sometimes long with Pablo Rosenblum. The second was Avraham Fried, and American Lubavitch Hasid who is a very popular singer of Hasidic music.
Well, to my great surprise, I found myself in a meditative state, with earphones and in and volume way up, bringing the music into me, as part of my being, blocking out everything else. The first playlist got my body moving and tapping, and swaying, and just about everything possible physically while sitting in the lotus position. My eyes of coursed closed, an enormous smile on my lips and very often mouthing the words, as if chanting. It moved me as deeply as music could on a physical level, opening my chakras in great joy. And then the second playlist began and a few of the more upbeat melodies kept me physically moving, but the words began to touch my soul as well. And then certain songs with very touching and inspirational words, touched me more than any mantra chanting has ever done, and moved me to the very depth of my soul being, my would moving and dancing just as my physical body did, and tears of great joy began to flow from my eyes. I spent 1 ½ hours in this surprising meditation and found myself in an almost out of body experience from the immense power this music had over me. I finished the playlists, came out of my meditation, uplifted, and energy charged on all levels and truly one with Divine Joy. So much so, that right after preparing my soup, instead of eating, I spent another 45 minutes DANCING!!
It was a beautiful and surprisingly rewarding afternoon, another great blessing which I am grateful for.
Namaste
Jane


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