Healing Crisis -Nov 6-8 2012

November 10, 2012

Healing Crisis -Nov 6-8 2012

Well, the first shift is actually my being without internet for the second day in a row.  The local server “fell” and although it has been repaired, the mobile stick I have been using for some reason was effected and the number is no longer in service.  They say it will take a couple of more days to repair it (Update:  this is not the case…but it is a long story not for now, but apparently I won’t have this lovely service available to me for the rest of the time I am here)  😦

Photos Taken on the Way Down to the Clinic

This in itself is no big deal, as there is plenty of internet service available, but during the same period of time, I was also going through a “healing crisis” (which I thought was a stomach virus at the time) and so was unable to leave my room.  All in all, it was a blessing as I was able to completely rest without the distraction of the computer the whole day  Hopefully today I will feel like going out, but at the moment, I will probably just leave all of this until the connection in the comfort of my room is restored  So if this post is late in coming, you will understand why.

It all began on Sunday (today is Thursday), when I went down to the market and all of a sudden felt extremely weak and decided to head home without completing my errands.

The next day I felt even weaker but attributed it to the water enema and just went to my room to rest  But during the day I had diarrhea several times (highly unusual for me-actually, never happens) and that night could not sleep due to a pounding, debilitating headache which painkillers did not ease.

Reported into the doctor next morning, and apparently I looked like “shit” because he was not pleased when he saw me.  Checked my pulse, was disturbed, and surprised, to find my Vatta very high, and gave me some herbs to “fix” things  Went back to my room, rested all day, but was feeling really bad by then, particularly in my stomach.  Felt like I needed to vomit, but could not (another thing I never do)-I would have felt much better if I had, and ate a little during the day but felt worse and worse as the day wore on  By the nighttime, I had developed a fever, chills and general “fluey” feeling and didn’t sleep much at all

There was no way I would find my way down to the clinic, so called the doctor at 9 in the morning, told him my symptoms, and he said he would send meds up to my room  He advised me to eat just fruit juices, fruit and soup during the day, which I did.  Several glasses of apple juice, a fruit salad, which lasted all day, and later in the day, I asked them to prepare chicken broth for me which was wonderful and made me feel a lot better.  Some toast and butter in the evening and that was it  I developed a fever again in the evening and by 8 was back in bed, actually quite worried about the whole thing.

A couple of hours later, I began to feel better, and to my surprise, the fever was gone, my stomach felt like new and I fell asleep, sleeping well until the morning. (Update: The fever was only gone because of the meds the doc gave me turns out..it didn’t dissipate for real for another 2 days-But since yesterday –Nov 10- I am fine-just still needing a couple of more days of rest)

I realize now that this is a final “cleansing push” of the panchakarma.  Makes sense that the cleansing would be equally difficult to the illnesses which preceded it.  I had a very difficult year healthwise, making the “cure” more difficult than usual.

I am feeling really hungry now for the first time in days, and will go down and order breakfast, and then head down to see the doctor.  I’m sure when he checks me things will be back in order, but will update later.

And perhaps I will also have internet.

.


Ambivalent Feelings- Hidden Blessings – Nov 5 2012

November 5, 2012

Ambivalent Feelings – Hidden Blessings

Sitting in the new Pundir Restaurant  I mentioned in one of my first posts this year. (Read more about this lovely shop and its lovely owners here: https://janesindiajournals.wordpress.com/2011/02/07/new-expanded-and-improved-pundir-general-store-in-tapovan/

New Restaurant at Pundir Shop

With a view of the Ganga through the trees, gentle morning sun warming me and a cool breeze keeping me comfortable.

I have ordered my toasted brown bread and hot milk and have brought with me from home my spice blend and some jaggary for the milk, and my lovely jam for the buttered toast.

This was actually taken yesterday morning up by my room-but you get the idea!

I am after a water enema, and a long nite of strange dreams. This is a yearly occurrence during the late stages of panchakarma – cleansing on deep levels.  I am quite tired however, and don’t feel like moving, but quite at peace. Sometimes this deep cleansing brings up difficult issues, crying, sadness, pain, anger etc., but this time it is bringing up just deep understandings of the need for new direction, new perspectives,  and new ways of seeing the next phase in my life.  This of course all requires change, and that of course is always difficult.  But the feelings are good ones, even a sense of excitement about what awaits me just around the corner. 

It is a time for complete acceptance, for surrender, with no expectations, in joy, gratitude and freedom from fear!

I am enjoying these last days of my treatments and looking forward to the last 10 days which will remain afterwards as “vacation” time before heading home.

Mixed feelings flood me at this time…wanting to be two places at the same time.

Embracing my last days of “aloneness” together with the joy of knowing I will soon be in the arms of my dear loving partner.

Ambivalence is probably the best word for the way I feel at the moment.

My time here is too short this trip, and yet I don’t believe I could have stayed away from my love for any longer!

Being limited by technical bureaucratic reasons in the amount of time I could stay in India this year (a mere 6 weeks compared to my usual 4-6 months) , something which initially was very difficult for me to accept, has turned out to be just one more blessing from above.

And I thank God and the Universe for once again, as always, taking care of me and my needs in the best possible way!

I am truly blessed

Leaves hanging over entrance to new restaurant, originally strung during puja ceremony before entering new home or business

Namaste from Rishikesh

Jane


News Flash!…A Whole New Concept in Panchakarma- Nov 3 2012

November 3, 2012

News Flash!!…A Whole New Concept in Panchakarma

Crowded Bridge During this Festival Season before Diwali

My diet during panchakarma is usually very restricted in order to get the maximum results from the detox.  Porridge in the morning, kitcheri at lunch and steamed veggies and chapatti for supper.  All with lots of ghee.  In between meals, fruit and nuts as desired and one glass of hot milk with ginger before bed.  That’s pretty much it.

I don’t usually feel hungry once I get used to it, but it gets soooooooooo boring that I feel like pulling my hair out at times. Especially when I sit in restaurants and see what everyone else is eating!!

This morning, I simply could not imagine another bowl of porridge.  So I went to ask Dr. Arora if I could perhaps, just this once, have something else.  I am feeling the need to “get my teeth into something”.  He asked me what I felt like having, and I blushingly said “Paneer Parantha”.  Without a second thought he replied, “Yes, for sure, why not?- Go have it and enjoy!!”

Which I did!!

But then, I realized, this was a one time deal.  And didn’t like the idea of going back to porridge.  So went back to the clinic and…

Sooooooooo Cute!

…. asked the doctor what he thought of the idea of having brown bread (no yeast) with butter for breakfast instead of porridge.  And his reply was, “Wonderful!  But you can put some fruit jam on it as well!!”

Wonder of wonders!  I asked why?  And he reminded me that this is a very easy , mild form of panchakarma, mainly to get my energy levels back up and my body balanced and vitalized again. You may remember that he already suggested TWO glasses of hot milk a day  together with biscuits (which I have been thoroughly enjoying).  And said if I had asked 2 weeks ago, he would have agreed then as well!!  (was embarrassed to ask then – but he was happy that I came this far with the full detox diet)

So, beginning tomorrow morning, I will have my lovely brown roll from downstairs, freshly prepared each day, with butter and sugar free blackcurrant and cranberry jam which I bought now. And will have my hot spiced milk together with it.  What a lovely breakfast treat, for the rest of the treatment days.

 It will be heavenly for sure!!  .  I am a very happy camper!

Namaste from Rishikesh


The Shift Begins-Three Weeks in Rishikesh – Oct. 31 2012 –

November 1, 2012

 The Shift Begins

Things are starting to shift.  This always happens when I am in India.  The shift is more on an energy level, in perceptions of time, space and self.

Enjoying the blessed energies along the Ganga

These shifts usually take over a month, sometimes longer, before they occur.  But time has a way of utilizing itself to best advantage.  The more time we have, the more time we waste. Time being short this trip, the shift has taken only 3 weeks.

Many things are very subtle. Pretty much unnoticed from the outside at first, but powerfully felt within.  Almost like a volcanic eruption… sudden, surprising  and overwhelming.

One of the physical ways it manifests with me, is that I “find my voice”.

I don’t sing in public out of respect for the sensitivity of others.  🙂  (well, I DO sing but only when lots of others are singing as well as during a “sing-a-long” or group chanting – and I sing softly so no one can actually hear me – except the unlucky person who happens to be sitting next to me)

And very often when I hum along with music in my own house-not even realizing I am doing it, if someone happens to hear me, they always ask me to stop.  I even hum off key!!!

[I always have music playing, in one form or another – depending on my mood and my needs- I must have music in my life- to calm, to excite, to invigorate, to inspire, for romance, for fun, for dancing or just for its beauty.]

So, while here in India, at some point, I “find my voice’, and begin to sing outloud, to chant outloud.  It is a release of secreted inner joy which doesn’t usually express itself, and it is awesome to feel when it occurs… and a huge  and welcome shift for me.

Finding  my “aloneness” again is also a great shift.  Always being surrounded by others-not always physically but mentally and emotionally – can be exhausting and draining , even when they are dear loved ones – of which I am blessed with many- 6 children, their spouses and my 14 grandchildren.  And then of course my dear loving partner and my friends.

The “space” to be completely alone with ME is a rare occurrence – times are few and far between- I make a great effort to at least begin my day with just ME – but very often even this sacred time is snatched from me for various reasons.

This space  for me is a luxurious blessing, and I am at a place where I am now withdrawing from others around me here as well. Going within, alone, as much as possible.

I have slowed down my mornings, leaving later for my treatments, taking this special sacred time to do those things which are most important to my balance and well being – prayer, meditation, yoga, Reiki, sitting in the blessed warmth of the sun, watching the mountain change colors as the morning moves along, sitting quietly along the Ganga eating my breakfast…contemplating or doing nothing…this is a precious time for me.  I always try to bring this home with me, but it is not something which I am able to always do.  And I miss it dearly.

Morning time is sacred space just for me, and I have not been honouring that space.  I tried adapting to the comfort zone of my friend-leaving earlier in the morning for treatments, walking faster than I like to, etc.  And this is another part of the shift.  I will now make my morning fully and solely devoted to my own needs.

My first resolution therefore, has been to at least do what I can from MY end to insure this sacred space.  And that is NOT to touch the computer for any reason, before lunch time-and later if possible.  This began yesterday, here in Rishikesh, and I will do my best to implement it once I get home as well.  It will not be easy, but it is an essential part of keeping the morning space just for ME without the intrusion of others – even others who I invite in via the computer.

My friend also has a certain animosity towards the Ganga – the son of a friend drowned while swimming in the Ganga and she cannot forgive the river for taking him….but this has effected my joy in being near Ma Ganga when we are together.  So I now breakfast alone (she has found a restaurant which  DOESN’T have  a view of the Ganga, not easy to do here in Rishikesh – and I am happy for her),  and the sacred energies once again come through to me as I sit here.

I will now do my Ganga strolls alone as well to completely absorb the healing energies this Holy river so lovingly gives me.

And will enjoy my slower pace of living as well.

Namaste from Rishikesh


From New Moon to Full Moon and Everything in Between – October 29, 2012

October 30, 2012

From New Moon to Full Moon and Everything in Between

From the time it took the moon to go from this, when I first arrived…:

bright crescent moon with whole moon showing

To this below…now:

  • I’ve come from needing the fan all day and part of the night, with all windows and door open and pretty much no clothes for sleeping, to warm blankets, warm clothes for sleeping and everything closed (at night-not during the day) and even a blanket under the door to keep the draft from coming in at night
  • From full time open windows and door and mosquitos and mice in the room, to closed windows and doors (still opened during the warm daytime hours), chilled air except for a few hours midday, but peace and quiet in the room-no surprise visitors and hardly any noisy tourists around!.
  • From needing mosquito repellent at all times outdoors, to being able to sit outside at any time of the day or night, without a mosquito to be found.  (there is no way I can do this at home in Israel, at any time of year!)
  • From summer clothes, looking for shade to walk in and sit in to eat my meals, and cold fruit juices to refresh me during the day, to sweaters, woolen shawls and sox,  and of course sitting as much as possible in the warmth of the sun, and lots of hot drinks.
  • From water barely trickling out of the shower head (same problem as every year but  much worse this year-good thing I was able to take a hot (bucket ) shower at the clinic each day), to a beautifully fixed plumbing system and lovely hot , strong, long showers as often as I want them.
  • From a poor, weakened state of health, exhaustion and a feeling of “running on empty” to a vibrant, energized “full power” state of health.

All of this and more in the time it has taken the moon to move from new to full.

I have moved into a “vacation” kind of mode, don’t feel like even looking at the computer, so for now posts will be fewer and far between….using this precious time for R&R and enjoying the quiet for the moment.  Yesterday I spent the day with my friend Devi and her lovely family.  Her Mom is a special friend-we have no common language and yet there is nothing we cannot say to each other.  More about that visit another day.

cresecent moon and venus

This stage of panchakarma is not so much tiring, as demanding retreat inward, and this is exactly what I am doing for myself at the moment.

I actually “worked” today, giving a Reiki treatment to a lovely Brazilian girl, but it left me so calm, at peace and relaxed afterwards, that there is no way I can truly describe it as work.  It is pure healing pleasure for me, and I get paid for it as well!!  🙂

I am in the perfect place for this time of  quietude, there being nothing that I “have” to do…just those things that I “want” to do.

A rare luxury and great blessing.

Namaste from Rishiesh


Effects of Panchakarma after Just Two Weeks-Oct. 28, 2012

October 28, 2012

Noticeable Effects of Panchakarma after Just Two Weeks

(Note:  I wrote the following post this morning before going down to the clinic.  So you can imagine my surprise when I walked into the clinic afterwards,  and when I said good morning to the doctor, he looked up, a huge smile crossed his face, his eyes lit up and he said: “You are looking VERY good this morning!”  Sure confirmation for the things I felt myself and wrote below.  🙂

Don’t know if this is of interest to anyone, but for me it is important to document .  After just two weeks of panchakarma, the effects are definitely felt.  Today I begin the full enema regimen with my first water enema, after two days of medicated oil enemas.  I know that this final stage will move the cleansing through to completion, but so far, I am able to feel changes in my energy levels and see visible signs of change.

I have been “running on empty” for so long, I don’t honestly remember when I felt full power the past months.  And I can now see that my energy levels are finally being restored to normal for me.  Meaning, I can be out and walking for hours each day, as much as 6-8 kilometers, and still feel fine in the evening.  I can do this for 2-3 days straight and then must take one day to rest.  This is the norm for me and I am pleased that I have reached that stage of activity once again.

And visually, there are changes.  My eyes first of all are indicators of health for me, always.  When I am not well, they look dull, half closed as if it is difficult to keep them open, and kind of “sad” looking.  Since yesterday, my eyes have once again taken on their full glow,, they have their joyous luster back, they are wide open and alert looking, and of course, “happy”.

My joint pains have eased immensely, despite my walking so much, and in general, I am feeling better than I have in over 10 months.  Before coming here, I would experience 2-5 days where I was NOT  ill with one thing or another, or just weak and unable to function, and then the weakened ill state would return again for up to 2 weeks at a time.  It had become the norm.

I have been here now for almost 3 weeks and have been well and energized the entire time, (except for a couple of days when weakness and tiredness were the direct results of the treatment that day – and this expected).

So all in all, things are going extremely well and I am optimistic that the final results will bring me back to my own perfect health.  And then hopefully the good health will continue once I get back home. This of course depends on me and if I continue to eat properly, live a suitable life style (especially getting back to my proper sleep habits which have been totally disrupted this past year with my new life partner) and manage to limit stress – this being a big issue when I am back home – between living in Israel, having six kids and 14 grandkids, financial worries, etc., managing stress is not always easy to say the least. I do my best but there are underlying matters which slowly bring about unwanted symptoms without even realizing it is happening.

Life is good and I am truly blessed!

Namaste from Rishikesh

Jane


The Paradise that is Rishikesh-October 24-26 –Some Catching Up –Panchakarma Days 11-13

October 26, 2012

The Paradise that is Rishikesh

[As I sit getting ready to post this,  there is an amazing desplay of color in the sky as I look out the window-it almost looks like the heavens are on fire! Notice the moon rising as well….(sorry about the wires,  but they are part of the “scenery”)…so this post will also have a gallery of shots taken over about a half hour period.  Hope you enjoy it here as much as I enjoyed it live!]

Panchakarma wise, there is nothing much to write about the last couple of days,,,just massage and sirrohdhara and massage and steam. And I was feeling really good and decided to take full advantage of these last two days of the easy stuff, so the next posts will be about those two lovely days I spent out and about and truly enjoying the paradise that is Rishikesh.

I look forward to posting some lovely photos, which I haven’t even looked at myself yet, and hopefully this will happen over the next couple of days. Today begins the harder portion of panchakarma, which leaves me with the feeling that I need to just rest in and around my room most of the day.

So I read, watch movies, write, do certain projects I may have committed myself to (making a new collage of my grandchildren, copy editing Dr.Arora’s new website), visiting with my friends near home and just relaxing. It is a good time for contemplation, or for just doing nothing.

SOMETIMES DOING NOTHING IS SOMETIMES DOING SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT

You can read more about this idea and its importance in our lives at this post:

http://notinindia2012.wordpress.com/2012/02/22/doing-nothing-is-doing-something-very-important/

Yesterday I ate the best pullao I have had since coming to Rishikesh.

best pullao in Rishikesh at Flavor’s Restaurant, Ram Jhula

Ate it at the lovely Indian restaurant, Flavors, following my long stroll along the ghats on both banks of Ram Jhula. It was full of wonderful herbs, fruits, nuts and veggies and the seasoning was just perfect. It was moist, not dry as many are…just heaven. The photo does not do it justice.!

I am now resting in my room and will shortly eat my wonderful paneer parantha prepared by Manju, the Doc’s wife, and a necessary precursor to the oil enemas, which I do in my room. It is one of the best parts of panchakarma (the parantha-not the….:-) ) . And today I plan to watch the movie, Intouchables, which came extremely highly recommended, and will probably begin watching lots of movies over the next 12 days as well. And that’s about it for today.

Namaste from Rishikesh

Jane


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