LIFE BEGINS AT THE END OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE

October 8, 2015

LIFE BEGINS AT THE END OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE
….and this is something which challenges me each and every time anew during my time in India.

with full Acceptance, Joy, Gratitude and FREEDOM FROM FEAR!
life begins at the end

Less than two weeks have gone by and I’ve already received my first insights and wonderful, blessed understandings of what I am truly capable of, with complete Freedom for Fear in all new aspects of my life.
This has been an interesting almost two weeks…the time it usually takes me to acclimate to my home here in Rishikesh, to settle down energy wise, to regain my balance and of course recuperate from flying, long taxi ride, unpacking, shopping etc., etc., etc. And this time the weather was unseasonably hot, much too hot for my comfort, and no AC anywhere. It was not an easy few first days, but ever since has gotten easier by the day, and brought me wonderful new lessons about myself and what I am capable of.

TAPOVAN LIT UP AT NIGHT...MY FIRST TIME TO VIEW THIS ALONE

TAPOVAN LIT UP AT NIGHT…MY FIRST TIME TO VIEW THIS ALONE

What has actually happened over the past few days, is the dispelling of age old myths about myself and my abilities, and exposing them for what they are: completely untrue (I am sickly, weak, lack energy, bad joints, poor feet which need special shoes, easily fatigued, weakened by the heat, etc ). In addition, I’ve finally gotten past a life long fear of the dark, especially being alone in the dark, which had been made even worse the past five years due to cataracts. The fear was so powerful, so overwhelming, that it was visceral – felt in my entire body, and simply paralyzed me. For years now, it has been difficult for me to see at night, and here in India, where there are no street lights in most places, making the dark total, I have not ventured out of my home area after around 4 in the afternoon, ever, being afraid of being caught out once the dark set in. It was extremely confining, and definitely frustrating and annoying.

MY SHADOW ON THE DARK MOUNTAIN ROAD

MY SHADOW ON THE DARK MOUNTAIN ROAD

I’ve come back to India after two successful cataract surgeries…I see better than I have my entire life (been wearing eyeglasses since the age of ten-which I no longer need), and decided, among other things, to check out the night fear.
So, over the past few days just about all of the above has been tested, and passed with flying colors. I am nothing like what I’ve been led to believe my whole life….I can do ANYTHING…anything I want to do, anything I choose to do, anything I need to do, even if it is difficult or demanding…and do it well and with nothing worse than a headache or tiredness at the end.
I went walking in the heat of the day, much further than I ever allowed myself in the past, wearing nothing but flip-flops (no special, expensive shoes or sandals for bad feet, knees, hips, back), did all this despite a headachy feeling in the morning (which would normally keep me home, resting the whole day), and had a marvelous day out. My headache actually went away DURING all this…
And then yesterday, decided to go out after 4, and just enjoy! Which I did. No fear, no problem with the dark, (flashlight on my phone was all I needed for the dark mountain roads) and a glorious feeling of being FREE AT LAST to do what I want, when I want!!

DARK ROAD LIT UP BY PASSING TRAFFIC

DARK ROAD LIT UP BY PASSING TRAFFIC

Now this all might simple boring and no big deal to most of you reading this, but believe me, these are things which I have given myself several huge medals for for outstanding achievement! I haven’t felt this pleased and proud of myself in a very long time, and look forward to whatever the rest of this journey holds in store for me!

with full Acceptance, Joy, Gratitude and FREEDOM FROM FEAR!

…and just for fun…this is a shot of the very limited view from my room, through the other guesthouses which block it, of the Ganga at night

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with love light and JOY

Namaste

Jane

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Jai Ma

September 16, 2014

Holy Ganga in Rishikesh

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BEING SPECIAL

March 10, 2014

Being special

Although this post is not specifically dealing with India, it was inspired and written during my recent visit, and so am posting it here as well.  Enjoy!

HANUMAN2
Some of us are ancient souls reincarnated once again, some of us are angelic beings who have chosen to be here for a specific reason, Some of us are human beings doing our best to make sense of our life.

Whoever we are, we are SPECIAL!

SPECIAL MEAnd we have chosen to be here, in this place, in this life, at this time for a very special reason. Understanding that reason, knowing what our special purpose here is, is vital to living a full, healthy, and complete life.
How do we know what our purpose is ? How do we know what makes us special?

Make no mistake,

GOLDEN BABA

each and every one of its IS special in his own way.

We begin to understand what our purpose is when we begin to understand what gives us JOY. Think of the things which you enjoyed doing and which gave you pleasure as a child. They may have been things that were different than what the other kids enjoyed doing, and at some point you stopped “doing your own thing” to fit in with the crowd. Or it could be something which your parents frowned on and so you stopped doing it to gain their approval, and love. There are many reasons for us losing touch with our purpose, and the first step is getting back to that place, feeling what it is that you are passionate about.

DEFINE YOURSELF

How do we figure that out? We begin by asking questions…

How do we express our creativity?…this is part of our passion and part of what makes us special . Perhaps our passion is helping others in some way…perhaps by teaching them. But we can teach many different things in many different ways. And we can use our creative talents to teach. If we enjoy writing and photography, we can teach just about anything using our ability to write combined with our photography. Or perhaps we have a talent for music or art, but have a passion for healing. We can combine these and become a dance or art therapist or heal through music. Or maybe we love animals but also have a passion to heal or be of service to people in some way. How about working with autistic children or adults using horses or dolphins to help heal. Perhaps we love the water…hydrotherapy.

There is no end to the ways in which we can reconnect with our passion, our creativity and our SPECIALNESS!

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The important thing here is to begin questioning ourselves, delving within, going back to the days of childhood pleasures and connecting with our passion and creative talents. Putting them all together to create a “sweet spot” in our daily lives may not always be easy, but it is well worth the effort.

BE ORIGINAL COCO CHANEL

Be Unique…be Original…what makes you different is what makes you special!

Once we have discovered who we are, why we are here and what we are truly passionate about, what it is that makes us Special, and have found a way to combine that passion with our innate creative talents, we are on the way to living a satisfying, fulfilling, healthy, useful and very SPECIAL life.

And nothing will bring greater pleasure into each SPECIAL day.

And of course, remember to be grateful always for all the blessings that have been showered upon you to bring you to that wonderful SPECIAL “sweet spot”. Don’t forget to celebrate your uniqueness, your specialness, at every chance you get.

CELEBRATION

Celebration brings even more joy into your life, increasing your passion for what you are doing. It is the final piece in the puzzle-

Gratitude and Celebration come hand in hand in insuring more of the same wonderful, full, special life you have created for yourself.

CELEBRATION

Much love light and JOY

Jane


EQUILIBRIUM-NOV 22 2013

November 22, 2013

EQUILIBRIUM-NOV 22 2013
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Well, it’s taken longer then usual but I’ve finally gotten back to that place of balance, tranquility and wellbeing I so long for and find difficult to “be” in so often in my hectic life.
Admittedly, three weeks here were taken up with “being with” others-and as pleasnt as that “being with” was, it still not the same as “being” just with ME!
The tricky part is staying in that place of equilibrium while with others and living the hectic pace of daily life. I manage to keep that balance for a fairly decent period of time upon returning to reality, but eventually I drift out of the balance place and that is where the retreat mode becomes so important to me, to my life andthelives of all those around me.
The deeper, longer and more complete the retreat is, the longer its effects last.
I do not generally need a hermit like silent retreat off in a cave somewhere completely shut off from human contact, although at times silence is something I crave. I enjoy the warmth and interaction of fellow beings, the contact with family and friends at home, the meeting new people here. But this can become a trap, keeping me from truly taking full advantage of my time away.
At some point, I feel I will be guided to a full week of isolation and silence. I will see where this feeling takes me and accept the direction I am given completely, with joy, gratitude, Faith and freedom from fear.
And until, and if, that happens, I will continue to enjoy my time with you as well.
Namaste
with love ligh and JOY
Jane


Beautiful Last Evening (and day) in India – Nov 21-22 2012

December 1, 2012

Beautiful Last Evening (and day) in India – Nov 21-22 2012

Last Morning in Rishikesh-Clouds Over the Mountains

Last Morning in Rishikesh-Clouds Over the Mountains

I was invited to Dr. Arora and Manju’s for dinner together with my friend Michal.  I usually spend quite a lot of time visiting with Manju while I am in Rishikesh.  Daytime visits where we just chat and I watch her in the kitchen-best cooking lessons available-and these visits were missing during this short stay.  But at least I would get to spend the evening with her, and I was excited about going.

We wound up spending the evening in prayers, chanting and singing with all the female members of the communal family dwelling (5 sisters-in-law, a couple of THEIR daughters-in-law, a visiting sister of Dr. Arora from Delhi, and even one baby granddaughter).  I couldn’t have found a more suitable, uplifting and beautiful way to spend my last evening in Rishikesh, or better company.  I have no photos, as it seemed neither appropriate nor necessary at the time, but the wonderful pictures will remain in my mind for a very long time.

It seems over 30 years ago, Dr. Arora’s father decided that every Tuesday there should be an evening of Kirtan (sacred chanting) in the family temple situated in the center of the family dwelling, and the women at the time decided they would be the ones to do it.  And to this day, this is precisely what happens every Tuesday evening.

There is nothing that compares with the power, and empowering energies of the prayers of women.  The chanting was done joyfully, sometimes playfully, sometimes with deep serious mindfulness and devotion, but always directed directly towards the deities.  I felt it on a deep soul level and felt myself being swept away with the power of the connection to God felt in the small room.  Since the chanting is repetitive, and the women took turns leading it, I was very often able to join in. And from my years in India, several of the chants I realized I actually knew the words to myself!  This surprised me and of course brought great joy and approving pleasure to the faces  of the women. And of course, clapping along with everyone else was a no brainer, even for me!!  🙂

The visit afterwards with Manju and the Doctor was thoroughly enjoyable as always, with good conversation, seeing the beautiful wedding album from their eldest son’s wedding last year (the daughter in law of course now living there with them) and of course a superb light dinner.  With soup, idlis, subji, shahi paneer (Manju makes the best in India for sure and she always remembers how much I like it and makes it for me when I come), chutney and of course chapattis with ghee . Dr Arora drove us home, quite late…tired but with full stomachs and happy hearts.

Now having my last breakfast here at the Pundir Restaurant after being treated to a wonderful whole wheat chapatti and homemade ghee when I stopped by Seema’s house earlier.

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The sky is cloudy today for the first time in 6 weeks.  I feel “cloudy” myself. Must be raining somewhere up in the mountains to bring the clouds and colder weather today.

Neelkanth Temple in Distance

Neelkanth Temple in Distance

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And somewhere deep inside of me there is a “rainy” feeling as well.

evening clouds

evening clouds

The day continued quietly, with goodbyes to everyone, always difficult, but even more so after such a short stay, and of course packing up my stuff for storage as well as for taking home.  The sky was beautiful to watch during the day and evening,

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and before heading off to Delhi by taxi, I had my last supper of schnitzel and chips!!  🙂

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The ride on the new highway took less than 5 hours….

Sachin provided me with a pillow so I could sleep in the car on the way.  I dozed on and off…and to my great surprise was in delhi in less than 5 hours!!  New road is good for sure.
Found a nice bench in the departure lounge to lay down on for another hour until they opened the RJ check in counter.  They really hassled me about my carry on- it didn’t fit into the “rack” which measures them.  Finally they called the supervisor, and she allowed me to take it.  What a pain in the ass.  The whole thing took over an hour but luckily I was first on line and when I got to the gate, there was even a free bed to lie down on which I did of course.

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Last Sunrise Over Delhi During Take Off

Last Sunrise Over Delhi During Take Off

the flight was fine but it seems the AC as not working….it was really hot on the plane.
Good flight to amman but it is over 7 hours going back.  The plane was not full so there was no one next to me which made it easier to  sleep a little with my legs over the handle of the next seat.
1/2 hour delay in Amman but that meant yosi actually got the airport in time to pick me up.  It was nice.
We went and had a nice breakfast in Yehud and then headed home and got stuck in a HAIL STORM!!  Thought the car windows would crack the pieces were so big!
And then later on in the evening, my house was struck directly by lightning and my phone went dead while talking to yosi.  and my cellphone needed to be charged but I had no electricity, so we couldn’t talk.  It was easier talking to him from India!

And now I am home, a week later, writing this last post!!  I will be posting several more photo posts, and then saying goodbye until next year!  Look forward to seeing you all once again then!

Namaste from Herzlia, Israel


India Lesson 2012 FINALLY – Nov. 9, 2012

November 10, 2012

India Lesson 2012  FINALLY – Nov. 9, 2012

I figured it out actually while writing THIS post…so you will have to bear with me until it gets put down in words here…as it happened!

Butterfly on the way to the Clinic

Don’ know if this will ever get posted.  No internet for a few days which is definitely a blessing in disguise for sure.  I am still in my “healing crisis”-taking longer than I had planned on-or what the doctor refers to as: “strong reaction to panchakarma” .

So I am being forced to eat very lightly-my stomach wont’ tolerate much more yet, and resting. Don’t have energy for much else and it is very frustrating.  There is so much I need (or want) to do these last couple of weeks and being forced to stay up in and around my room is annoying and boring…especially without internet!!

Coming Down from my Room

I am now sitting at the lovely new Pundir restaurant where I ordered a fruit salad.  Just anything not to have to go right back to the room.  And to my great surprise, they just put in free WIFI! And luckily I have my new phone which I can actually use with WIFI- not much good for writing, but at least I can check emails and FB.  Which I just did…and what did I find there?

A message from Eckhart Tohl which was exactly what I needed to see as I sit here writing about how frustrating and annoying this forced rest is for me!

“Surrender is the simple but profound wisdom of yielding to, rather than opposing, the flow of life”.

This is THE lesson I was meant to learn here this year.  I must now find the way to put it into practice both here and when I get home.

I’ve been confronting the need to rest versus the need to “make the most” of my last 2 weeks here.  Frustrated that I can’t be out and about and not truly allowing myself to relax into resting. Even though I spend all day up at my room-“resting”.

If the rest is only physical, it is not rest at all.

I have a big lesson to put into practice when I get home and the practice begins now.

No matter how it effects all those loving and dear ones around me…what they expect of me-how they expect me to feel-or what may disappoint them regarding how I come back from India, is truly not my concern.

Only being “true to myself” is what needs to concern me at this time.

This of course includes the lesson of living in complete Faith and Freedom from Fear-knowing that all is as it should be, and is good.

Experiencing ALL in complete acceptance, joy and gratitude and of course, Freedom from Fear.

And now that I have figured it out….I already feel better! More at peace, enjoying this time alone, playing games, doing my needlepoint, reading, listening to music, even dancing some folkdancing in my room – and not thinking about what I “cannot” do, but about all the pleasures of what I CAN do.

And to really make my day…as I started heading back up to my room…I heard my name called from across the street….and when I looked…to my great joy and total surprise, it was Akhilesh!!

And who is Akhilesh you may ask?  Well, that is a story for another post…hopefully tomorrow…or of course whenever these begin to get posted.

Namaste from Rishikesh


Ambivalent Feelings- Hidden Blessings – Nov 5 2012

November 5, 2012

Ambivalent Feelings – Hidden Blessings

Sitting in the new Pundir Restaurant  I mentioned in one of my first posts this year. (Read more about this lovely shop and its lovely owners here: https://janesindiajournals.wordpress.com/2011/02/07/new-expanded-and-improved-pundir-general-store-in-tapovan/

New Restaurant at Pundir Shop

With a view of the Ganga through the trees, gentle morning sun warming me and a cool breeze keeping me comfortable.

I have ordered my toasted brown bread and hot milk and have brought with me from home my spice blend and some jaggary for the milk, and my lovely jam for the buttered toast.

This was actually taken yesterday morning up by my room-but you get the idea!

I am after a water enema, and a long nite of strange dreams. This is a yearly occurrence during the late stages of panchakarma – cleansing on deep levels.  I am quite tired however, and don’t feel like moving, but quite at peace. Sometimes this deep cleansing brings up difficult issues, crying, sadness, pain, anger etc., but this time it is bringing up just deep understandings of the need for new direction, new perspectives,  and new ways of seeing the next phase in my life.  This of course all requires change, and that of course is always difficult.  But the feelings are good ones, even a sense of excitement about what awaits me just around the corner. 

It is a time for complete acceptance, for surrender, with no expectations, in joy, gratitude and freedom from fear!

I am enjoying these last days of my treatments and looking forward to the last 10 days which will remain afterwards as “vacation” time before heading home.

Mixed feelings flood me at this time…wanting to be two places at the same time.

Embracing my last days of “aloneness” together with the joy of knowing I will soon be in the arms of my dear loving partner.

Ambivalence is probably the best word for the way I feel at the moment.

My time here is too short this trip, and yet I don’t believe I could have stayed away from my love for any longer!

Being limited by technical bureaucratic reasons in the amount of time I could stay in India this year (a mere 6 weeks compared to my usual 4-6 months) , something which initially was very difficult for me to accept, has turned out to be just one more blessing from above.

And I thank God and the Universe for once again, as always, taking care of me and my needs in the best possible way!

I am truly blessed

Leaves hanging over entrance to new restaurant, originally strung during puja ceremony before entering new home or business

Namaste from Rishikesh

Jane


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