January 8, 2011 – Pivotal Day and Solitaire Affirmations
The post below was written late last night and it is now the next morning. I have just come in from a beautiful meditation out in the sun. Yes, the sun! I rose brilliantly over the mountain at 8:30 this morning, and although still quite cold, its warmth penetrates to the very depths of my soul – bringing with it renewed positive energies to both body and soul. Things are certainly looking brighter!!
What do I mean by “pivotal” ? Pivot, as in “turning point”. Until today I was confused, unsure of my decision to be here, even questioning my ever returning to India in the future. Feeling guilty about not being at home, not being able to relax and find my contentment and wellbeing as I usually do when returning to India.
I finally made an appointment as you may recall with a well regarded astrologer here…in the past I had never felt the need for clarification or guidance when in India. But this whole year has been unsettling for me and I deeply felt the need to consult him. I was guided as well to do this by my inner voice. On the way down to my appointment today, I had already checked the possibility of changing my ticket and returning home!
Well, seeing him was exactly what I needed. Things have completely turned themselves around since my talk with him, and I am feeling at peace with just being in the moment, for the first time in more than a year…yes, since LAST year at this time when I was here and making arrangements to fly home early.
There were many things he spoke about that were astounding…but not things I will share here – too personal and dealing with many of the people in my life, as well as past lives.
But the bottom line is, what he told me (without my ASKING the question myself), was that I must stay in India until March-April and do basically one thing: TAKE CARE OF MYSELF!!.
His specific advice was to do lots of meditation, take very long walks everyday, STOP EATING SWEETS (how did he know that I’ve had a craving for sweets for months now and have been eating enormous amounts…something which I generally keep completely away from!!), as they are very bad for me, and get someone to do several good healing sessions for me. All the rest were things which were of great help to me in doing further cleansing and releasing, in understanding many things that were beyond my comprehension until now regarding relationships, as well as in coming to terms with certain situations in my life…even talking about a future relationship for me…but again, the main issue was taking care of myself completely.
He also said that I must go back to teaching, as I am very good at it, it gives me great satisfaction and energy, and also will bring me my financial security. BUT NOT NOW. Now is for healing myself.
In addition, just “by chance”, two of his students were there. One of them was using one of the new netstiks I’ve been hearing about and not only was he very pleased with it, he told me exactly where to go to get a wonderful deal, which will make it even cheaper than using the local internet café for 1 hour a day…and I will have it for 24 hours a day. Which means being here will be easier since I will have easy access to my family…something which was difficult for me to deal with. And the other student, is a Reiki Master with wonderfully gentle energy who will be coming to me on Monday to begin a series of healing sessions! Everything taken care of in one place, Divinely programmed, to bring me to the place I need to be at the moment, easily, and with no fuss and bother.
I will go during the week to set up the internet and then will just make sure that I do not abuse it! It will be a good form of self-discipline for me.
A friend is also going tomorrow to see if he can fix the problem with my mobile phone, so maybe I will have an end to that story as well to share.
Having been given “permission” to relax and “do nothing”, I will now allow myself to begin to flow with things gently and with compassion.
I am truly blessed.
Ok…I know that what I write now will sound nonsensical to most of you, but for me it is just another affirmation that something right is beginning today…something which will make me a “winner” for me. I play different types of solitaire from time to time. The games involve mostly skill as opposed to the regular solitaire which is mostly luck. I don’t often win these games. I just played a game now called Aces and Kings…over the past several years I have played a total of 272 games. I just now had my 6th win (!) out of all these tries. For me, this is a very positive message that I am finally heading down the right path.
OK…more unbelievable….I’ve played several different versions of solitaire when I couldn’t fall asleep (my fault-forgot the time and drank coffee at 5 in the afternoon), one called Cruel which I win about one in every 30 games, and I won tonight…in first game I played. And then another one called Terrace which has about a 25% chance of winning and I ALSO won! You have to understand that I can sometimes play for weeks and never win even ONE game in ANY version I am playing…this is really quite amazing and definitely unusual to say the least. I think this is all just to give me even more confidence that I am on a true winning streak and to really release all fears and worries and just let things flow.
OK again…decided to check the theory…there is one game, Aces Up, which is about 90% luck, and has about a 5% chance of winning…and guess what??? Yep…won that also!!!!