October 17, 2015


EVERYONE has a smartphone/camera

EVERYONE has a smartphone/camera

I’ve been here a little over two weeks now, and as always, it has taken me this amount of time to find my balance. The past two weeks have been filled with great joys, but also some doubts about myself and my capabilities again…and falling back into that place is always a wake up call for me. Falling back into patterns of self-sabotaging behavior is something we all do, but I am blessed to be able to recognize it for what it is and nip it in the bud.



I have put everything into perspective, including the complete non-desire to write, and realized, as always, that this is the amount of time I always need to adjust to change, of any kind. Even good change in a place I am completely familiar with.
And now that I have understood once again, that I am as good as, or even better than I have been on past sojourns here…life begins to settle in and I find myself completely at peace with myself.



However, I am still having some difficulty finding the QUIET PLACE this time, mainly due to all that is so disturbingly happening at home. I am finding ways to deal with that as well.
I have been blessed to have met a lovely new friend, (more to come), and to have already begun working. I am enjoying cooking for myself when I feel like it, but mainly enjoying the pleasures of having someone else prepare food for me, even if it is just steamed veggies or fabulous fruit salads.


And of course, I am doing Reiki, meditation, pranayama and yoga EVERY day.
I will be posting further photos and stories as the days go by. Yesterday and today and am privileged to be an invited guest at the Mehandi (henna) and then marriage celebrations of the son of good friends, and will be writing about this as well.

Life is a Twisting Road

April 20, 2014

Message from My Morning Meditation

laxman waterfall04

The photos in this post are all roads which I have walked in India. There were of course many more.


My life is a twisted turning road and I never know what awaits me around the next bend.  But I travel this road in complete Freedom from Fear for I know without a doubt, with complete Faith in God and His loving Universe, that another wonderful exciting and beautiful surprise is waiting for me once I get around the curve.


It may be a sharp and unexpected turn and I will have to navigate it carefully and slowly,  but once I get past it, a whole new and wonderful vista appears before me once again.

waterfall (9)

I am truly blessed to have found this road of liberation and joy and love.  God is the engineer and Master builder and administrator of this road, and He has graciously given me, and everyone, free access to it. We just have to be willing to take the first step into the unknown with  Freedom from Fear, and complete acceptance and Faith in what lies ahead.

laxman waterfall06
waterfall (9)



The Journey Home-Beginning the Final Countdown- Dec 15 2013

December 15, 2013

“…your outer life soon reflects your inner peacefulness…”



Every sojourn in India has its own personality. Its own distinct way of effecting my life. And always seems to address the most pressing issues of the moment in the most direct and efficient way. With messages, AHA moments during meditations, insights, even books “sent my way”., has

And of course this journey is no different.

I’ve come as close to a silent, solitary retreat as I feel comfortable with but its impact has been powerful as well as empowering.

I have done little blog posting, have had little interaction with others here (almost 100% less than on a usual sojourn), find the company of others extremely intrusive, have done no Reiki workshops or sessions, and despite the varied and ease of communication these days, have had little contact with friends and loves ones as well. Posting photos easily and on several different networks, has been my biggest form of communication this trip, and that requires very little true interaction. It is definitely a silent form of communication, very rarely requiring words.

But I have been talking to me, to God, to my guides, to the Angels, to the Universe incessantly and many profoundly deep insights about “how” I have been up until now in my life have surfaced. The myths I had been programmed to believe, and DID believe about myself, my perceptions about my abilities and limitations and my interpretations of these ideas…they all seem to finally be collapsing and opening the way for new, better and healthier ways of moving forward in my life.

I have been guided to question, and then understand so much of my previous self-sabotaging behavior and habits-things I accepted totally as “who I am”, without question. This process began slowly before I even left for India, but would have taken much longer to reach the stage it has (if at all) if I had not had these past two months to myself.

The insights are deep, end intimidating. I continue to pray daily for Freedom from Fear and complete Faith as I move forward, determined to make essential changes on both the conscious and subsonscious levels (easier said than done…our subconscious programming from childhood runs so deep). And I pray as well that my sincere intentions, efforts and focus will bring about much needed change in several critical areas of my life.

As I wind down my time here and get ready to joyfully return to my “other” reality, I am determined to succeedin having things “work” differently, and better, than ever before in my life.

….notes from the card chosen in preparation for my return home:

SHANTI:….through breath and intention you can stay centered no matter what’s happening in your life. This inner foundation of peace has a powerful healing effect. Your outer life soon reflects your inner peacefulness…


with love light and JOY

The Shift Begins-Three Weeks in Rishikesh – Oct. 31 2012 –

November 1, 2012

 The Shift Begins

Things are starting to shift.  This always happens when I am in India.  The shift is more on an energy level, in perceptions of time, space and self.

Enjoying the blessed energies along the Ganga

These shifts usually take over a month, sometimes longer, before they occur.  But time has a way of utilizing itself to best advantage.  The more time we have, the more time we waste. Time being short this trip, the shift has taken only 3 weeks.

Many things are very subtle. Pretty much unnoticed from the outside at first, but powerfully felt within.  Almost like a volcanic eruption… sudden, surprising  and overwhelming.

One of the physical ways it manifests with me, is that I “find my voice”.

I don’t sing in public out of respect for the sensitivity of others.  🙂  (well, I DO sing but only when lots of others are singing as well as during a “sing-a-long” or group chanting – and I sing softly so no one can actually hear me – except the unlucky person who happens to be sitting next to me)

And very often when I hum along with music in my own house-not even realizing I am doing it, if someone happens to hear me, they always ask me to stop.  I even hum off key!!!

[I always have music playing, in one form or another – depending on my mood and my needs- I must have music in my life- to calm, to excite, to invigorate, to inspire, for romance, for fun, for dancing or just for its beauty.]

So, while here in India, at some point, I “find my voice’, and begin to sing outloud, to chant outloud.  It is a release of secreted inner joy which doesn’t usually express itself, and it is awesome to feel when it occurs… and a huge  and welcome shift for me.

Finding  my “aloneness” again is also a great shift.  Always being surrounded by others-not always physically but mentally and emotionally – can be exhausting and draining , even when they are dear loved ones – of which I am blessed with many- 6 children, their spouses and my 14 grandchildren.  And then of course my dear loving partner and my friends.

The “space” to be completely alone with ME is a rare occurrence – times are few and far between- I make a great effort to at least begin my day with just ME – but very often even this sacred time is snatched from me for various reasons.

This space  for me is a luxurious blessing, and I am at a place where I am now withdrawing from others around me here as well. Going within, alone, as much as possible.

I have slowed down my mornings, leaving later for my treatments, taking this special sacred time to do those things which are most important to my balance and well being – prayer, meditation, yoga, Reiki, sitting in the blessed warmth of the sun, watching the mountain change colors as the morning moves along, sitting quietly along the Ganga eating my breakfast…contemplating or doing nothing…this is a precious time for me.  I always try to bring this home with me, but it is not something which I am able to always do.  And I miss it dearly.

Morning time is sacred space just for me, and I have not been honouring that space.  I tried adapting to the comfort zone of my friend-leaving earlier in the morning for treatments, walking faster than I like to, etc.  And this is another part of the shift.  I will now make my morning fully and solely devoted to my own needs.

My first resolution therefore, has been to at least do what I can from MY end to insure this sacred space.  And that is NOT to touch the computer for any reason, before lunch time-and later if possible.  This began yesterday, here in Rishikesh, and I will do my best to implement it once I get home as well.  It will not be easy, but it is an essential part of keeping the morning space just for ME without the intrusion of others – even others who I invite in via the computer.

My friend also has a certain animosity towards the Ganga – the son of a friend drowned while swimming in the Ganga and she cannot forgive the river for taking him….but this has effected my joy in being near Ma Ganga when we are together.  So I now breakfast alone (she has found a restaurant which  DOESN’T have  a view of the Ganga, not easy to do here in Rishikesh – and I am happy for her),  and the sacred energies once again come through to me as I sit here.

I will now do my Ganga strolls alone as well to completely absorb the healing energies this Holy river so lovingly gives me.

And will enjoy my slower pace of living as well.

Namaste from Rishikesh

January 10, 2011 – End of Phone Story and Meditation for a Broken Heart

January 10, 2011

January 10, 2011 – End of Phone Story and Meditation for a Broken Heart

The picture above is what I patiently am waiting for…the end of winter and a sunset like this over the Ganga!!

I sit in my room, doing my best NOT to turn on the internet.  It is wonderful having the option of using it in my room, even the connection is very slow.  It is good enough for browsing and uploading, but fairly problematic for Skype…but still a blessing, especially in this colder weather, allowing me to sit in my nice warm room and do my “stuff”.

I am listening to lovely music, have just eaten a dinner which I “ordered out” today, being lazy and not feeling like cooking (one of the big benefits of being in a guesthouse as opposed to my own flat), and will try t sum up my day for you.

First of all, for anyone interested, you can follow this link:

and find a beautiful meditation for helping to deal with the pain of a broken heart.  It was a small but very powerful part of a beautiful healing session I had today with the lovely Chinese healer I met at the astrologer.  She is a Reiki Master but uses other forms of healing as well.  She was gentle but went very deep and will be coming again tomorrow. In addition to the discussion we had, and her intuitive knowing what I needed, she was also guided before coming to prepare something for me (before she even spoke to me).  A candle on which she carved some Eastern sutra/mantra.  The sutra is used in cases where someone has to release things which are stuck…She instructed me to burn the candle with this intention and when it was all burned down, to sit out in the sun (!) and allow the sunlight to fill the places that were emptied of pain, etc.  So, hopefully tomorrow morning I will see a sunny day again and will do this as well.

Check out the link for the full meditation for “fixing” broken hearts which may be of help to you or someone you know.

And the story of the mobile phone ended today, finally, with me getting back my money, but not in the way I imagined.  I will write the full story up tomorrow, but just know that the ending included a motorbike ride into Rishikesh market on the coldest morning yet since I have been here, also windy and foggy.  I wore all the clothing I had plus two shawls and still felt like I was being blown into a block of ice the entire ride there, and then back home.  I literally felt myself thawing out once I got into my room…with my feet in hot water and the heater on me.  But I must say, I have become very good at bike riding without holding on…it is not acceptable in India anyway, to hold onto the guy in front, plus I needed my hands to keep the shawl from blowing open as well as to cover my hands to keep them from becoming frostbitten!!!

Hope to write up the full story tomorrow as a separate post, but am happy that it finally came to an end.

That’s it for today.



January 8, 2011 – Pivotal Day and Solitaire Affirmations

January 8, 2011

January 8, 2011 – Pivotal Day and Solitaire Affirmations

The post below was written late last night and it is now the next morning.  I have just come in from a beautiful meditation out in the sun.  Yes, the sun! I rose brilliantly over the mountain at 8:30 this morning, and although still quite cold, its warmth penetrates to the very depths of my soul – bringing with it renewed positive energies to both body and soul.  Things are certainly looking brighter!!

What do I mean by “pivotal” ?   Pivot, as in “turning point”. Until today I was confused, unsure of my decision to be here, even questioning my ever returning to India in the future.  Feeling guilty about not being at home, not being able to relax and find my contentment and wellbeing as I usually do when returning to India.

I finally made an appointment as you may recall with a well regarded astrologer here…in the past I had never felt the need for clarification or guidance when in India.  But this whole year has been unsettling for me and I deeply felt the need to consult him.  I was guided as well to do this by my inner voice.  On the way down to my appointment today, I had already checked the possibility of changing my ticket and returning home!

Well, seeing him was exactly what I needed.  Things have completely turned themselves around since my talk with him, and I am feeling at peace with just being in the moment, for the first time in more than a year…yes, since LAST year at this time when I was here and making arrangements to fly home early.

There were many things he spoke about that were astounding…but not things I will share here – too personal and dealing with many of the people in my life, as well as past lives.

But the bottom line is, what he told me (without my ASKING the question myself), was that I must stay in India until March-April and do basically one thing:  TAKE CARE OF MYSELF!!.

His specific advice was to do lots of meditation, take very long walks everyday, STOP EATING SWEETS (how did he know that I’ve had a craving for sweets for months now and have been eating enormous amounts…something which I generally keep completely away from!!), as they are very bad for me, and get someone to do several good healing sessions for me.  All the rest were things which were of great help to me in doing further cleansing and releasing, in understanding many things that were beyond my comprehension until now regarding relationships, as well as in coming to terms with certain situations in my life…even talking about a future relationship for me…but again, the main issue was taking care of myself completely.

He also said that I must go back to teaching, as I am very good at it, it gives me great satisfaction and energy, and also will bring me my financial security.  BUT NOT NOW. Now is for healing myself.

In addition, just “by chance”, two of his students were there.  One of them was using one of the new netstiks I’ve been hearing about and not only was he very pleased with it, he told me exactly where to go to get a wonderful deal, which will make it even cheaper than using the local internet café for 1 hour a day…and I will have it for 24 hours a day.  Which means being here will be easier since I will have easy access to my family…something which was difficult for me to deal with.  And the other student, is a Reiki Master with wonderfully gentle energy who will be coming to me on Monday to begin a series of healing sessions!  Everything taken care of in one place, Divinely programmed, to bring me to the place I need to be at the moment, easily, and with no fuss and bother.

I will go during the week to set up the internet and then will just make sure that I do not abuse it!  It will be a good form of self-discipline for me.

A friend is also going tomorrow to see if he can fix the problem with my mobile phone, so maybe I will have an end to that story as well to share.

Having been given “permission” to relax and “do nothing”, I will now allow myself to begin to flow with things gently and with compassion.

I am truly blessed.


Ok…I know that what I write now will sound nonsensical to most of you, but for me it is just another affirmation that something right is beginning today…something which will make me a “winner” for me.  I play different types of solitaire from time to time.  The games involve mostly skill as opposed to the regular solitaire which is mostly luck.  I don’t often win these games.  I just played a game now called Aces and Kings…over the past several years I have played a total of 272 games.  I just now had my 6th win (!) out of all these tries.  For me, this is a very positive message that I am finally heading down the right path.

OK…more unbelievable….I’ve played several different versions of solitaire when I couldn’t fall asleep (my fault-forgot the time and drank coffee at 5 in the afternoon), one called Cruel which I win about one in every 30 games, and I won tonight…in first game I played.  And then another one called Terrace which has about a 25%  chance of winning and I  ALSO won! You have to understand that I can sometimes play for weeks and never win even ONE game in ANY version I am playing…this is really quite amazing and definitely unusual to say the least.  I think this is all just to give me even more confidence that I am on a true winning streak and to really release all fears and worries and just let things flow.

OK again…decided to check the theory…there is one game, Aces Up, which is about 90% luck, and has about a 5% chance of winning…and guess what???  Yep…won that also!!!!


December 27, 2010-Understanding Loss

December 27, 2010

December 27, 2010-Understanding Loss

This will be a short post, in more of a personal nature, and if you are interested in the full story you will have to read it on my Mindfulness Journal Blog as it is certainly more appropriate there.

Every trip to India has a definite purpose in my life, but I am never aware of what the purpose of each journey is until sometime into my actual sojourn in India. There have been years when it has taken me months to understand the purpose and move forward with it but it generally doesn’t take that long. This time, it has taken just over one week!

This was the first time I ever found it hard to “go off” to India…my brain was telling me that it is a bad time to go, for many reasons…most of them family reasons – with so much going on with so many people at home, needing me, needing my presence, my support, why on earth was I going off on a selfish trip to India at this time? But my HEART was telling me “just go and stop think so much”. As I have become very good at listening to my inner wisdom, I packed up and headed off, with what could be called a “heavy heart”. And since arriving here I have been at loose ends…not really knowing why I am here right now instead of “there” (“where I SHOULD be”).
It is not that I have been miserable here, far from it, but certainly not the overwhelming feeling of contentment and well-being I usually feel. And it has made each day difficult for me…thinking I have made a mistake this time by coming.
I must admit that I also had expectations as to the purpose of this visit, something I try to avoid at all costs…and this had also put me in a position of “waiting” for what was “supposed” to happen. Always a bad thing.!
So, this morning, during a deep meditation and prayer session, the answers came flooding through to me, bringing me a deep sense of joy and relief, and I now sit out on my rooftop, with the wonderful winter sun warming me through and through, grateful, at peace and smiling for joy, knowing that I have made no mistake by coming here.
For the full story of what I understood, and where it will hopefully take me on this journey, you’ll have to check out this link:

Joyful Jane

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